After an invigorating conversation today, I have decided to try writing more often. Today I feel the need to share my D-n-D character. Now I've never had a chance to use him, but that doesn't mean I can't give him a bit of a back story. Now I have very little first hand experience with any of the D-n-D worlds, so you'll have to forgive my lack of familiarity with certain subjects.
"Dear Father,
I hate nature. I hate the trees. I hate the bugs. And I especially hate the fact that I'm not allowed to eat any of the animals here, because those were your instructions. Now, I know you want your true heir to be brave, strong soul, but how do you expect me to accomplish great heroics in your backyard? And as much as I appreciate my training to become a Ranger, why would you come tome to Mother's village and raise me amongst humans, just to dump me back into the wilds again? Since the rest of my half-siblings managed to live with their respective mothers, why was I chosen to live with you? Did you only come up with this hare brained inheritance scheme a few years ago? This is just a ruse right, you aren't really going to leave your vast tracks of land and fortune to some illegitimate child from one of your one night stands?
From your most beloved son,
Pierre "Pierren" XXXXXX"
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Monday, March 29, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
WEBCOMIS! Have you seen them?
I am really not very good at this blog thing, am I? No, empty void that is my reader base, I'm not. Well, I suppose I should back to work. Back to chronicling webcomics I'm fairly certain you aren't reading.
Boxer Hockey: What do you get when you cross Soccer with Polo with a Dash of Greco-Roman Wrestling and then threw in a genetically engineered frog in for the hell of it? Just the most awesome sport ever, that's what! Boxer Hockey Follows the American Team in the World Boxer Hockey League, Mechanical Penguin, as they rise in the ranks. The Team consists of Team Captain Skip, his wingmen Rittz and Billy Burrito and there goalie, Charlie, as well as Coach Tim Selleck. Who is totally NOT Tom Selleck of Magnum P.I. fame. Like many webcomics, it has gone through a bit of a rough patch, but it has been updating on a regular basis of once per week as of late. The art can be best described as abstract at times, with facial expressions distorting in to hilarious grimaces akin to those I'm most familiar with from Great Teacher Onizuka.
Ménage à 3: How long has it been since I talked about a webcomic which can be best described as Mature? I think it was all the way back in my first "Webcomics you probably haven't heard of." Unless we're counting the work of S. Saukrai, but this is more in between the two. While there is A LOT more nudity then Intragalctic, it still isn't as raunchy as Oglaf. Menage a 3 is your basic sitcom webcomic, centered on Gary, a down on his luck would be cartoonist who comes home one day to find his roommates ready to move out, leaving him with no one else to help pay rent. Luckily for him, they had the foresight to set out a want ad for new roomates. So before long he winds up with punk rock chick Suzi Aka Zii and Buxom French Canadian Desiré aka DiDi. Now as I mentioned this is a mature webcomic, with lots of female nudity and sex humor, but that 's really all there is. Theres no violence to speak of (except when it's funny) and the language is toned down (that or I've become desensetized to vulgarity). I don't want to go too in depth with the plot, so lets just say it's your standard "Guy trying his hardest to lose his virginty" story and be done with it. As for updates, at three strips per week with a very good consistency when it comes to sticking to this schedule, I have to commend Ménage à 3 for beign able to do something 90% of my the other comics haven't, and that's keeping up with Penny Arcade. Granted it's still ony around three years old, and may slip up a bit later down the line, but for now I'll enjoy it on a weekly basis.
Boxer Hockey: What do you get when you cross Soccer with Polo with a Dash of Greco-Roman Wrestling and then threw in a genetically engineered frog in for the hell of it? Just the most awesome sport ever, that's what! Boxer Hockey Follows the American Team in the World Boxer Hockey League, Mechanical Penguin, as they rise in the ranks. The Team consists of Team Captain Skip, his wingmen Rittz and Billy Burrito and there goalie, Charlie, as well as Coach Tim Selleck. Who is totally NOT Tom Selleck of Magnum P.I. fame. Like many webcomics, it has gone through a bit of a rough patch, but it has been updating on a regular basis of once per week as of late. The art can be best described as abstract at times, with facial expressions distorting in to hilarious grimaces akin to those I'm most familiar with from Great Teacher Onizuka.
Ménage à 3: How long has it been since I talked about a webcomic which can be best described as Mature? I think it was all the way back in my first "Webcomics you probably haven't heard of." Unless we're counting the work of S. Saukrai, but this is more in between the two. While there is A LOT more nudity then Intragalctic, it still isn't as raunchy as Oglaf. Menage a 3 is your basic sitcom webcomic, centered on Gary, a down on his luck would be cartoonist who comes home one day to find his roommates ready to move out, leaving him with no one else to help pay rent. Luckily for him, they had the foresight to set out a want ad for new roomates. So before long he winds up with punk rock chick Suzi Aka Zii and Buxom French Canadian Desiré aka DiDi. Now as I mentioned this is a mature webcomic, with lots of female nudity and sex humor, but that 's really all there is. Theres no violence to speak of (except when it's funny) and the language is toned down (that or I've become desensetized to vulgarity). I don't want to go too in depth with the plot, so lets just say it's your standard "Guy trying his hardest to lose his virginty" story and be done with it. As for updates, at three strips per week with a very good consistency when it comes to sticking to this schedule, I have to commend Ménage à 3 for beign able to do something 90% of my the other comics haven't, and that's keeping up with Penny Arcade. Granted it's still ony around three years old, and may slip up a bit later down the line, but for now I'll enjoy it on a weekly basis.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Webcomics that you've never heard of!
What's that off in the distance? Some strange unseen life form? A Wayward Vagabond lost miles from his home? No, it's just me. I apologize empty void of the internet, I know I should have been feeding you random info. As repentance, I promise twice the web comics from my last post.
The Slackerz: Here we have a webcomic that doesn't know what it wanted to be. It started out as just a random series about anything from the government stealing your teeth or the bad advice you receive from rapping hamsters. Now it's mostly another gaming comic. The change was slow, and apparently "fans" were unhappy with the general change, feeling that the internet is writhe with the two gamers on a couch routine. At least that's what I think happened, I showed up late to the game and only have Smith's word on the matter. The prerequisite author avatars are of Scotts Smith and Hepting. Smith is your basic bearded guy with glasses, while Hepting is a rooster man. Other regular characters include Matt, the fat orange haired Linux user who gave them a virus and is the honorary representative of all that is wrong with geek and nerd culture, Johnny Turbo, advertisement icon from the early nineties, and indiscriminate stick figure, their go to filler character. The humor itself is that of someone who knows they're doing something that's been done before and doesn't care. They're willing to poke fun at themselves over it. They now have a good balance of gaming and non-gaming humor. But since I tend to not pay attention to other peoples opinions of these sorts of things, I don't know whether anyone else is impressed.
Full Frontal Nerdity: Probably something closer to reality than most table top gaming comics are willing to admit. Just three guys and a web camera, huddled around a table rolling dice. No Dramatic depictions of whatever game their playing, no wacky aliens or robots, and most importantly, no women gamers. Now as I've stated before, I still have little to go on about table top games, and weregeek is the only other comic I know that's in this genre, but I feel that it painted this sort of thing in to positive a light. What they have is a best case scenario, where the players have an equal gender distribution and LARPing isn't all the odd, and while that may be true in some cases, FFN seems to be more anchored to the less glamorous parts of gaming. Of the three main characters, only one of them lives by themselves, they appear to be in their twenties or thirties, and are not the best looking bunch. One thing I'd like to point out is the art. Most web comics go through something called art evolution, a change in art as the years go by. But not all of them do, as is the case with FFN, where you can't tell todays strip from the ones posted all the way back in 2003. Which brings me to my number one fault with this comic: NO ACHIVE! Most web comics have the decency to at least have some sort of list of previous entries, but can be found here. This makes finding that one comic you really thought was hilarious nigh on impossible. The only safe bet is to bookmak the page When you plan on stopping, or write down the date the comic was posted. There's really not much you can do beyond this besides mindlessly hitting the next button, typing in random dates in the address bar, or simply just forgetting about it. I should point out it updates once a week on wednesday, so those of you crazy enough to actually try typing in the adress have at lesat some chance at getting results.
Castle Vidcons: Now this is a smartly written comic that has the misfortune to have stopped updating for the last four months. Which is too bad, it was so original. No other comic commented on gaming like it, by using 17th century royalty in place of the consoles themselves. Sure a website might anthropomorphize the consoles on occasion, even as a running joke, but never as well as this. Political intrigue, assassinations, and even religious rituals are all used as commentary on the kind of in fighting famous amongst gamers. As with royalty, there really are no protaganists, merely warring kingdoms, with the most powerful being the oldest as well. The kingom of Nintendo is ruled by King Wii. He is a direct descendent of the Great King NES, brother of the Japanese Famicom. As is common among royalty, he is married to his sister, Queen DS. Their greatest Enemies include Lord Playstation the Second and his son Lord Playstation the Third, King XBox 360, and the Dread Pirate King PSP. Admittedley the humor can be very hard to understand, relying heavily on news of the gaming industry and never outright stating what they're talking about, but the message boards attached to each comic will help to explain anything that you don't understand.
Alright, this post is getting to long for my tastes. I'll have to divide it into two parts.
The Slackerz: Here we have a webcomic that doesn't know what it wanted to be. It started out as just a random series about anything from the government stealing your teeth or the bad advice you receive from rapping hamsters. Now it's mostly another gaming comic. The change was slow, and apparently "fans" were unhappy with the general change, feeling that the internet is writhe with the two gamers on a couch routine. At least that's what I think happened, I showed up late to the game and only have Smith's word on the matter. The prerequisite author avatars are of Scotts Smith and Hepting. Smith is your basic bearded guy with glasses, while Hepting is a rooster man. Other regular characters include Matt, the fat orange haired Linux user who gave them a virus and is the honorary representative of all that is wrong with geek and nerd culture, Johnny Turbo, advertisement icon from the early nineties, and indiscriminate stick figure, their go to filler character. The humor itself is that of someone who knows they're doing something that's been done before and doesn't care. They're willing to poke fun at themselves over it. They now have a good balance of gaming and non-gaming humor. But since I tend to not pay attention to other peoples opinions of these sorts of things, I don't know whether anyone else is impressed.
Full Frontal Nerdity: Probably something closer to reality than most table top gaming comics are willing to admit. Just three guys and a web camera, huddled around a table rolling dice. No Dramatic depictions of whatever game their playing, no wacky aliens or robots, and most importantly, no women gamers. Now as I've stated before, I still have little to go on about table top games, and weregeek is the only other comic I know that's in this genre, but I feel that it painted this sort of thing in to positive a light. What they have is a best case scenario, where the players have an equal gender distribution and LARPing isn't all the odd, and while that may be true in some cases, FFN seems to be more anchored to the less glamorous parts of gaming. Of the three main characters, only one of them lives by themselves, they appear to be in their twenties or thirties, and are not the best looking bunch. One thing I'd like to point out is the art. Most web comics go through something called art evolution, a change in art as the years go by. But not all of them do, as is the case with FFN, where you can't tell todays strip from the ones posted all the way back in 2003. Which brings me to my number one fault with this comic: NO ACHIVE! Most web comics have the decency to at least have some sort of list of previous entries, but can be found here. This makes finding that one comic you really thought was hilarious nigh on impossible. The only safe bet is to bookmak the page When you plan on stopping, or write down the date the comic was posted. There's really not much you can do beyond this besides mindlessly hitting the next button, typing in random dates in the address bar, or simply just forgetting about it. I should point out it updates once a week on wednesday, so those of you crazy enough to actually try typing in the adress have at lesat some chance at getting results.Castle Vidcons: Now this is a smartly written comic that has the misfortune to have stopped updating for the last four months. Which is too bad, it was so original. No other comic commented on gaming like it, by using 17th century royalty in place of the consoles themselves. Sure a website might anthropomorphize the consoles on occasion, even as a running joke, but never as well as this. Political intrigue, assassinations, and even religious rituals are all used as commentary on the kind of in fighting famous amongst gamers. As with royalty, there really are no protaganists, merely warring kingdoms, with the most powerful being the oldest as well. The kingom of Nintendo is ruled by King Wii. He is a direct descendent of the Great King NES, brother of the Japanese Famicom. As is common among royalty, he is married to his sister, Queen DS. Their greatest Enemies include Lord Playstation the Second and his son Lord Playstation the Third, King XBox 360, and the Dread Pirate King PSP. Admittedley the humor can be very hard to understand, relying heavily on news of the gaming industry and never outright stating what they're talking about, but the message boards attached to each comic will help to explain anything that you don't understand.
Alright, this post is getting to long for my tastes. I'll have to divide it into two parts.Monday, October 26, 2009
Zombie Walk Prepartions
Last Saturday was my first Zombie walk. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, it's basically a parade of people in Zombie make up, usually as some kind of charity (This one was a food drive as well). Since a lot of people showed up this year, I suspect that another one is being planned for next year, so I once again take it upon myself to educate you on how to prepare yourself for the event.
1. Rest Up. Just like in my Halloween Horror Nights tips, I urge you to not do a lot of running around before hand. That is, unless you have good feet, you may wish to rest up long in advance, as these do last awhile. It's not as bad since you aren't just standing around on your feet most of the time, but walking like a zombie does get tiring after awhile. Speaking of which...
2. Work on your act. This is more like a suggestion, but it doesn't hurt to get into the spirit of things. Work on your shambling and moaning, maybe come up with a theme. Most people go as themselves with some make up, but what about going as Zombie Billy Mays? Or any number of other famous people.
1. Rest Up. Just like in my Halloween Horror Nights tips, I urge you to not do a lot of running around before hand. That is, unless you have good feet, you may wish to rest up long in advance, as these do last awhile. It's not as bad since you aren't just standing around on your feet most of the time, but walking like a zombie does get tiring after awhile. Speaking of which...
2. Work on your act. This is more like a suggestion, but it doesn't hurt to get into the spirit of things. Work on your shambling and moaning, maybe come up with a theme. Most people go as themselves with some make up, but what about going as Zombie Billy Mays? Or any number of other famous people.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Rules for enjoying Halloween Horror Nights
Last Sunday I managed to make it to Halloween Horror Nights in Orlando, and I've got to say that i was very disappointed in it. I guess I had set my expectations too high. Or maybe I just wasn't in the right frame of mind at the time. So to help you get the most out of your experience, here are some helpful hints for your own experience.
1. Rest up!: I cannot stress this enough, but your basically going to be on your feet the whole time. This isn't your usual trip to Universal Studios, where you get to sit on every ride, show, and restaurant. You will be waiting on your feet to get into the Haunted Houses, to get out of the Haunted Houses, and waiting to get into The Bill and Ted Stage show. My advice is to pick between the two, either do the park in the day or wait to do Halloween Horror Nights in the evening. Your feet will thank you for this.
2. Take care of business: You know what I mean. Your greatest fear of the night should not be whether or not your have clean underpants. If you can stand it, I don't see why you can't use the park's facilities. Just remember that your in a theme park with hundreds of drunk college students, and the toilets aren't set to autoflush, so you can your chances if you really want to.
3. Don't Peek: As much as it pains me to point this out, but the primary source of entertainment from this is the jump scares. If you, like me, can't help but peek around every corner when you enter a room, then this probably isn't the event for you. But if you are the kind of irrational ninny who jumps at every loud noise and quick gust, than you might enjoy this. For the record, I did only two of the houses, and was disappointed in both, so I might be the wrong person to give advice on this matter.
4. Leave Bill & Ted for last: Now this only goes for those of you who actually want to see this. For those of you who don't know, Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure is the stage show they have every year that play's out like a Friedburg and Seltzer movie. For those of you turned off at that idea, I do have to say that it oddly works on such a small scale. You don't expect Hollywood level comedy from this, just jokes at the stupid things in the news or pop culture mixed with random dance numbers. But still, it is about half an hour long, so would advise that you do all the houses you want beforehand, because as I mentioned before, you don't get to rest your legs much throughout the event, and you don't want to remind yourself of how good it feels to sit that long.
and my most important tidbit of advice
5. Be a Drunken College Student: Unless you have a convincing fake I.D., you are not going to enjoy this as much as others. There is no doubt in my mind that this event is nothing more than a ploy to sell six dollar Jello shots to people who have just hit their twenty-first rotation around that big fireball in th sky, and are looking for any reason to get wasted. Maybe with enough drinks in me, even I'd be afraid of the fake blood and chainsaws. But this of course means bringing your wallet and lots of cash into a crowded place where often times you are being filed through a dark and distracting hallway with people you don't know behind you. It would be very easy for you to lose said wallet to someone you didn't notice, because you were to distracted by a fat guy caught in razor wire. Just keep that in mind the next time you find yourself pondering whether or not you want to go to this event.
I'm sorry if this took such a dark turn, but I feel that I was lucky to not have it to me, or even to anyone that I know, as far I'm aware. It's just that it's such a real threat that no one warned me about, and I just realized how easy it would be to lose your drivers liscence, your bank card, and whatever cash you had on you at the time. Anyway Happy Halloween and I hope these tips will help you to enjoy this event to it's fullest.
1. Rest up!: I cannot stress this enough, but your basically going to be on your feet the whole time. This isn't your usual trip to Universal Studios, where you get to sit on every ride, show, and restaurant. You will be waiting on your feet to get into the Haunted Houses, to get out of the Haunted Houses, and waiting to get into The Bill and Ted Stage show. My advice is to pick between the two, either do the park in the day or wait to do Halloween Horror Nights in the evening. Your feet will thank you for this.
2. Take care of business: You know what I mean. Your greatest fear of the night should not be whether or not your have clean underpants. If you can stand it, I don't see why you can't use the park's facilities. Just remember that your in a theme park with hundreds of drunk college students, and the toilets aren't set to autoflush, so you can your chances if you really want to.
3. Don't Peek: As much as it pains me to point this out, but the primary source of entertainment from this is the jump scares. If you, like me, can't help but peek around every corner when you enter a room, then this probably isn't the event for you. But if you are the kind of irrational ninny who jumps at every loud noise and quick gust, than you might enjoy this. For the record, I did only two of the houses, and was disappointed in both, so I might be the wrong person to give advice on this matter.
4. Leave Bill & Ted for last: Now this only goes for those of you who actually want to see this. For those of you who don't know, Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure is the stage show they have every year that play's out like a Friedburg and Seltzer movie. For those of you turned off at that idea, I do have to say that it oddly works on such a small scale. You don't expect Hollywood level comedy from this, just jokes at the stupid things in the news or pop culture mixed with random dance numbers. But still, it is about half an hour long, so would advise that you do all the houses you want beforehand, because as I mentioned before, you don't get to rest your legs much throughout the event, and you don't want to remind yourself of how good it feels to sit that long.
and my most important tidbit of advice
5. Be a Drunken College Student: Unless you have a convincing fake I.D., you are not going to enjoy this as much as others. There is no doubt in my mind that this event is nothing more than a ploy to sell six dollar Jello shots to people who have just hit their twenty-first rotation around that big fireball in th sky, and are looking for any reason to get wasted. Maybe with enough drinks in me, even I'd be afraid of the fake blood and chainsaws. But this of course means bringing your wallet and lots of cash into a crowded place where often times you are being filed through a dark and distracting hallway with people you don't know behind you. It would be very easy for you to lose said wallet to someone you didn't notice, because you were to distracted by a fat guy caught in razor wire. Just keep that in mind the next time you find yourself pondering whether or not you want to go to this event.
I'm sorry if this took such a dark turn, but I feel that I was lucky to not have it to me, or even to anyone that I know, as far I'm aware. It's just that it's such a real threat that no one warned me about, and I just realized how easy it would be to lose your drivers liscence, your bank card, and whatever cash you had on you at the time. Anyway Happy Halloween and I hope these tips will help you to enjoy this event to it's fullest.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
It hurts us, it hurts us.
Ahhh, what the f*** Marvel?! This kiddie sh*t was supposed to come after your buyout by Disney! I couldn't stand five SECONDS of this show! For those of you who haven't noticed yet. this is The Marvel Super Hero Squad, basically the Marvel Universe as portrayed by bobbleheaded children. So basically Jim Henson's Marvel Babies would be a good summation. Only difference is, Kermit the Frog never had adamantium claws, and Gonzo never had the Power Cosmic, athough I'm pretty sure Ms. Piggy did have the ability to devour planets. Now, I don't have a problem introducing children to your franchise, but that doesn't mean you have to spoon feed them this drivvle. Maybe it's just aimed at a younger crowed than I should've expected, but that didn't stop me as a child from enjoying the X-men and Spider-Man cartoons on Fox, and those are second only to Batman the Animated series for greatest cartoon based on a comic. Granted this is because Spider-Man had strict censorship, and X-men can only carry the other shows so much (I'm looking at you Avengers, Silver Surfer, and Iron Man), while Batman was the foundation for the Timmiverse, or DC Animated Universe, with classics like the Justice League cartoons and Static Shock. Hell, even Batman: the Brave and the Bold has more dignity than this tripe. With any luck, children will ignore this show and it will get cancelled five episodes in, and they'll go back to watching things like The Spectacular Spider-Man or the Brave and the Bold.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Yet even more webcomics you probably aren't reading
Hey hey, it's that time again. Time for me to introduce you to more webcomics that don't have that much coverage in my opinion. Now let's start this thing.
Bad Gods: Lore Sjöberg is the author of quite a few webcomics on his site, my personal favorite being Monster Manual Comix, just because I'm that big of a nerd. but my all time favorite strip from his strip comes from One Word: Cute. Let's just say it can be summed up in four words, "Huge Plush Charles Bronson!" And if you don't like comics, at least his Lore Brand comics come with the recipe for an alcoholic beverage.
Weregeek: Listen, if you've ever even considered playing a tabletop RPG, you should at least read the first chapter. Seriously, that's all I'm going to say, because anything else would be a spoiler.
Nerf NOW!: Really I just found thi when I was looking for Team Fortress 2 webcomics. It's really just a cute silent comic that covers popular Video Games like TF2, Starcraft, and sometimes a few others. Latley the author seems to have decided to introduce original characters in the form of Casual Kid, Hardcore Dad, and Old School Grandpa. I'll admit that even I don't understand all the jokes, since I don't regularly play TF2, and even then it's only on the Xbox 360, so I don't get some of the slang or the Class evolution week jokes. But if you've been playing it from the start, then maybe you might understand better.
And that's all for now. I've decided that I'm going to hold back on my #1 Mad Scientist until I get some followers, so as not to spoil it for new readers. I won't add it until I have five followers and a comment on each of my posts.
Bad Gods: Lore Sjöberg is the author of quite a few webcomics on his site, my personal favorite being Monster Manual Comix, just because I'm that big of a nerd. but my all time favorite strip from his strip comes from One Word: Cute. Let's just say it can be summed up in four words, "Huge Plush Charles Bronson!" And if you don't like comics, at least his Lore Brand comics come with the recipe for an alcoholic beverage.
Weregeek: Listen, if you've ever even considered playing a tabletop RPG, you should at least read the first chapter. Seriously, that's all I'm going to say, because anything else would be a spoiler.
Nerf NOW!: Really I just found thi when I was looking for Team Fortress 2 webcomics. It's really just a cute silent comic that covers popular Video Games like TF2, Starcraft, and sometimes a few others. Latley the author seems to have decided to introduce original characters in the form of Casual Kid, Hardcore Dad, and Old School Grandpa. I'll admit that even I don't understand all the jokes, since I don't regularly play TF2, and even then it's only on the Xbox 360, so I don't get some of the slang or the Class evolution week jokes. But if you've been playing it from the start, then maybe you might understand better.
And that's all for now. I've decided that I'm going to hold back on my #1 Mad Scientist until I get some followers, so as not to spoil it for new readers. I won't add it until I have five followers and a comment on each of my posts.
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