Last Saturday was my first Zombie walk. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, it's basically a parade of people in Zombie make up, usually as some kind of charity (This one was a food drive as well). Since a lot of people showed up this year, I suspect that another one is being planned for next year, so I once again take it upon myself to educate you on how to prepare yourself for the event.
1. Rest Up. Just like in my Halloween Horror Nights tips, I urge you to not do a lot of running around before hand. That is, unless you have good feet, you may wish to rest up long in advance, as these do last awhile. It's not as bad since you aren't just standing around on your feet most of the time, but walking like a zombie does get tiring after awhile. Speaking of which...
2. Work on your act. This is more like a suggestion, but it doesn't hurt to get into the spirit of things. Work on your shambling and moaning, maybe come up with a theme. Most people go as themselves with some make up, but what about going as Zombie Billy Mays? Or any number of other famous people.
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Monday, October 26, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Rules for enjoying Halloween Horror Nights
Last Sunday I managed to make it to Halloween Horror Nights in Orlando, and I've got to say that i was very disappointed in it. I guess I had set my expectations too high. Or maybe I just wasn't in the right frame of mind at the time. So to help you get the most out of your experience, here are some helpful hints for your own experience.
1. Rest up!: I cannot stress this enough, but your basically going to be on your feet the whole time. This isn't your usual trip to Universal Studios, where you get to sit on every ride, show, and restaurant. You will be waiting on your feet to get into the Haunted Houses, to get out of the Haunted Houses, and waiting to get into The Bill and Ted Stage show. My advice is to pick between the two, either do the park in the day or wait to do Halloween Horror Nights in the evening. Your feet will thank you for this.
2. Take care of business: You know what I mean. Your greatest fear of the night should not be whether or not your have clean underpants. If you can stand it, I don't see why you can't use the park's facilities. Just remember that your in a theme park with hundreds of drunk college students, and the toilets aren't set to autoflush, so you can your chances if you really want to.
3. Don't Peek: As much as it pains me to point this out, but the primary source of entertainment from this is the jump scares. If you, like me, can't help but peek around every corner when you enter a room, then this probably isn't the event for you. But if you are the kind of irrational ninny who jumps at every loud noise and quick gust, than you might enjoy this. For the record, I did only two of the houses, and was disappointed in both, so I might be the wrong person to give advice on this matter.
4. Leave Bill & Ted for last: Now this only goes for those of you who actually want to see this. For those of you who don't know, Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure is the stage show they have every year that play's out like a Friedburg and Seltzer movie. For those of you turned off at that idea, I do have to say that it oddly works on such a small scale. You don't expect Hollywood level comedy from this, just jokes at the stupid things in the news or pop culture mixed with random dance numbers. But still, it is about half an hour long, so would advise that you do all the houses you want beforehand, because as I mentioned before, you don't get to rest your legs much throughout the event, and you don't want to remind yourself of how good it feels to sit that long.
and my most important tidbit of advice
5. Be a Drunken College Student: Unless you have a convincing fake I.D., you are not going to enjoy this as much as others. There is no doubt in my mind that this event is nothing more than a ploy to sell six dollar Jello shots to people who have just hit their twenty-first rotation around that big fireball in th sky, and are looking for any reason to get wasted. Maybe with enough drinks in me, even I'd be afraid of the fake blood and chainsaws. But this of course means bringing your wallet and lots of cash into a crowded place where often times you are being filed through a dark and distracting hallway with people you don't know behind you. It would be very easy for you to lose said wallet to someone you didn't notice, because you were to distracted by a fat guy caught in razor wire. Just keep that in mind the next time you find yourself pondering whether or not you want to go to this event.
I'm sorry if this took such a dark turn, but I feel that I was lucky to not have it to me, or even to anyone that I know, as far I'm aware. It's just that it's such a real threat that no one warned me about, and I just realized how easy it would be to lose your drivers liscence, your bank card, and whatever cash you had on you at the time. Anyway Happy Halloween and I hope these tips will help you to enjoy this event to it's fullest.
1. Rest up!: I cannot stress this enough, but your basically going to be on your feet the whole time. This isn't your usual trip to Universal Studios, where you get to sit on every ride, show, and restaurant. You will be waiting on your feet to get into the Haunted Houses, to get out of the Haunted Houses, and waiting to get into The Bill and Ted Stage show. My advice is to pick between the two, either do the park in the day or wait to do Halloween Horror Nights in the evening. Your feet will thank you for this.
2. Take care of business: You know what I mean. Your greatest fear of the night should not be whether or not your have clean underpants. If you can stand it, I don't see why you can't use the park's facilities. Just remember that your in a theme park with hundreds of drunk college students, and the toilets aren't set to autoflush, so you can your chances if you really want to.
3. Don't Peek: As much as it pains me to point this out, but the primary source of entertainment from this is the jump scares. If you, like me, can't help but peek around every corner when you enter a room, then this probably isn't the event for you. But if you are the kind of irrational ninny who jumps at every loud noise and quick gust, than you might enjoy this. For the record, I did only two of the houses, and was disappointed in both, so I might be the wrong person to give advice on this matter.
4. Leave Bill & Ted for last: Now this only goes for those of you who actually want to see this. For those of you who don't know, Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure is the stage show they have every year that play's out like a Friedburg and Seltzer movie. For those of you turned off at that idea, I do have to say that it oddly works on such a small scale. You don't expect Hollywood level comedy from this, just jokes at the stupid things in the news or pop culture mixed with random dance numbers. But still, it is about half an hour long, so would advise that you do all the houses you want beforehand, because as I mentioned before, you don't get to rest your legs much throughout the event, and you don't want to remind yourself of how good it feels to sit that long.
and my most important tidbit of advice
5. Be a Drunken College Student: Unless you have a convincing fake I.D., you are not going to enjoy this as much as others. There is no doubt in my mind that this event is nothing more than a ploy to sell six dollar Jello shots to people who have just hit their twenty-first rotation around that big fireball in th sky, and are looking for any reason to get wasted. Maybe with enough drinks in me, even I'd be afraid of the fake blood and chainsaws. But this of course means bringing your wallet and lots of cash into a crowded place where often times you are being filed through a dark and distracting hallway with people you don't know behind you. It would be very easy for you to lose said wallet to someone you didn't notice, because you were to distracted by a fat guy caught in razor wire. Just keep that in mind the next time you find yourself pondering whether or not you want to go to this event.
I'm sorry if this took such a dark turn, but I feel that I was lucky to not have it to me, or even to anyone that I know, as far I'm aware. It's just that it's such a real threat that no one warned me about, and I just realized how easy it would be to lose your drivers liscence, your bank card, and whatever cash you had on you at the time. Anyway Happy Halloween and I hope these tips will help you to enjoy this event to it's fullest.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
It hurts us, it hurts us.
Ahhh, what the f*** Marvel?! This kiddie sh*t was supposed to come after your buyout by Disney! I couldn't stand five SECONDS of this show! For those of you who haven't noticed yet. this is The Marvel Super Hero Squad, basically the Marvel Universe as portrayed by bobbleheaded children. So basically Jim Henson's Marvel Babies would be a good summation. Only difference is, Kermit the Frog never had adamantium claws, and Gonzo never had the Power Cosmic, athough I'm pretty sure Ms. Piggy did have the ability to devour planets. Now, I don't have a problem introducing children to your franchise, but that doesn't mean you have to spoon feed them this drivvle. Maybe it's just aimed at a younger crowed than I should've expected, but that didn't stop me as a child from enjoying the X-men and Spider-Man cartoons on Fox, and those are second only to Batman the Animated series for greatest cartoon based on a comic. Granted this is because Spider-Man had strict censorship, and X-men can only carry the other shows so much (I'm looking at you Avengers, Silver Surfer, and Iron Man), while Batman was the foundation for the Timmiverse, or DC Animated Universe, with classics like the Justice League cartoons and Static Shock. Hell, even Batman: the Brave and the Bold has more dignity than this tripe. With any luck, children will ignore this show and it will get cancelled five episodes in, and they'll go back to watching things like The Spectacular Spider-Man or the Brave and the Bold.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Yet even more webcomics you probably aren't reading
Hey hey, it's that time again. Time for me to introduce you to more webcomics that don't have that much coverage in my opinion. Now let's start this thing.
Bad Gods: Lore Sjöberg is the author of quite a few webcomics on his site, my personal favorite being Monster Manual Comix, just because I'm that big of a nerd. but my all time favorite strip from his strip comes from One Word: Cute. Let's just say it can be summed up in four words, "Huge Plush Charles Bronson!" And if you don't like comics, at least his Lore Brand comics come with the recipe for an alcoholic beverage.
Weregeek: Listen, if you've ever even considered playing a tabletop RPG, you should at least read the first chapter. Seriously, that's all I'm going to say, because anything else would be a spoiler.
Nerf NOW!: Really I just found thi when I was looking for Team Fortress 2 webcomics. It's really just a cute silent comic that covers popular Video Games like TF2, Starcraft, and sometimes a few others. Latley the author seems to have decided to introduce original characters in the form of Casual Kid, Hardcore Dad, and Old School Grandpa. I'll admit that even I don't understand all the jokes, since I don't regularly play TF2, and even then it's only on the Xbox 360, so I don't get some of the slang or the Class evolution week jokes. But if you've been playing it from the start, then maybe you might understand better.
And that's all for now. I've decided that I'm going to hold back on my #1 Mad Scientist until I get some followers, so as not to spoil it for new readers. I won't add it until I have five followers and a comment on each of my posts.
Bad Gods: Lore Sjöberg is the author of quite a few webcomics on his site, my personal favorite being Monster Manual Comix, just because I'm that big of a nerd. but my all time favorite strip from his strip comes from One Word: Cute. Let's just say it can be summed up in four words, "Huge Plush Charles Bronson!" And if you don't like comics, at least his Lore Brand comics come with the recipe for an alcoholic beverage.
Weregeek: Listen, if you've ever even considered playing a tabletop RPG, you should at least read the first chapter. Seriously, that's all I'm going to say, because anything else would be a spoiler.
Nerf NOW!: Really I just found thi when I was looking for Team Fortress 2 webcomics. It's really just a cute silent comic that covers popular Video Games like TF2, Starcraft, and sometimes a few others. Latley the author seems to have decided to introduce original characters in the form of Casual Kid, Hardcore Dad, and Old School Grandpa. I'll admit that even I don't understand all the jokes, since I don't regularly play TF2, and even then it's only on the Xbox 360, so I don't get some of the slang or the Class evolution week jokes. But if you've been playing it from the start, then maybe you might understand better.
And that's all for now. I've decided that I'm going to hold back on my #1 Mad Scientist until I get some followers, so as not to spoil it for new readers. I won't add it until I have five followers and a comment on each of my posts.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Top 5 Mad Scientists Part 2: Wrath of the Electric Boogaloo
Yesterday I sang my praises of the most misunderstood of scientists, The Mads. Whether it be their death rays or giant robots, one can't help but love their future Overlords, especially when they use a mind control device on you. Now on to the show
#3 Dr. Cube. What can be said about this living legend, other than "Please stop hitting me." Dr. Cube is a man who, unlike other Mad Scientists, isn't afraid to get his hands dirty and grapple with the heroes alongside his sins against god, especially in the case on his #1 monster Hell Monkey. Unfortunately for people just being introduced to the glory that is Cube, he has a very extensive back story, just like every one else on Kaiju Big Battel. It would be easier to just jump in and then hope to get filled in along the way, or you could just purchase the DVD's from KBB's website.
#2 Dr. Clayton Forrester. Now you might say, "Gee, Lemur, didn't he start out on television?" And to that I say, "Don't call me Lemur, cause that's not my name. And you try to watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 this day and age without the use of the internet." Sure you could purchase some of the DVD's at Best Buy, or wait for the 1:00 A.M. Showing of MST3K: The Movie on Showtime, but good luck finding any other way to watch KTMA era episodes. So he stays, and if you don't like it, I'll shoot you into space. Where was I? oh yes, the genius that is Dr. Clayton Forrester. A whole generation of internet celebrities have him to thank for the brilliant punishment of making people watch horrible movies. Unfortunately they forget to make other people watch them, and instead submit themselves to unbearable movies for the amusement of others.
Now you may be asking yourself, "But who could possibly beat out the Original Mad?" to which I respond, "Stop talking to yourself you weirdo, or I won't tell you." And I won't. At least not tonight. In closing, remember to check in on Doc Mock's moview Masoleum, specifically episode 9, part 2 for a bit of my sage wisdom. Until tomorrow, farewell.
#3 Dr. Cube. What can be said about this living legend, other than "Please stop hitting me." Dr. Cube is a man who, unlike other Mad Scientists, isn't afraid to get his hands dirty and grapple with the heroes alongside his sins against god, especially in the case on his #1 monster Hell Monkey. Unfortunately for people just being introduced to the glory that is Cube, he has a very extensive back story, just like every one else on Kaiju Big Battel. It would be easier to just jump in and then hope to get filled in along the way, or you could just purchase the DVD's from KBB's website.
#2 Dr. Clayton Forrester. Now you might say, "Gee, Lemur, didn't he start out on television?" And to that I say, "Don't call me Lemur, cause that's not my name. And you try to watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 this day and age without the use of the internet." Sure you could purchase some of the DVD's at Best Buy, or wait for the 1:00 A.M. Showing of MST3K: The Movie on Showtime, but good luck finding any other way to watch KTMA era episodes. So he stays, and if you don't like it, I'll shoot you into space. Where was I? oh yes, the genius that is Dr. Clayton Forrester. A whole generation of internet celebrities have him to thank for the brilliant punishment of making people watch horrible movies. Unfortunately they forget to make other people watch them, and instead submit themselves to unbearable movies for the amusement of others.
Now you may be asking yourself, "But who could possibly beat out the Original Mad?" to which I respond, "Stop talking to yourself you weirdo, or I won't tell you." And I won't. At least not tonight. In closing, remember to check in on Doc Mock's moview Masoleum, specifically episode 9, part 2 for a bit of my sage wisdom. Until tomorrow, farewell.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Top 5 Mad Scientists Part 1
I'd just like to draw some attention to some attention to some of the less appreciated individuals in the science community, that of the mads. Too long now have they been cast in a negative light, always equated with horrible abominations against God. Not all are complete monsters, and are merely misunderstood. Or is it underestimated. I always get those to confused. Without further ado, here are my top five Mad scientists on the web right now.
5. Dr. Insano. Whether it be utilizing the Giant Robot Neutro to destroy his enemy's house, or letting loose fire apes that are on fire to cause rampant chaos, or simply bringing SCIENCE into a shootout, Dr. Insano always has a way to ruin your day...with SCIENCE! What he lacks in elaborate costumes, he more than makes up for with persistance, even once coming close to destroying coming close to destroying all of Hypertime with the Anti-Comic equation, known only as Warrior #1. But that was an Elseworld story, so no one really cares about that.
#4 Doc Mock. Doc Mock has a masoleum, and he kept movies there so nobody could see 'em. But many years passed, and the time has finally come to bring the movies out to have a little fun. Cause these are the kind of movies that never go out of style, so why don't you sit back and enjoy yourself for a while. THe Doctor is in, and he's got something to say, " These crazy movies are going to blow you away." Doc Mock Host "Doc Mock's Movie masoleum, an internet show similar to Mystery Science Theater 3000 if crossed with Space Ghost, Coast to Coast. Every Friday night at 10 P.M. PST, 1 A.M. EST, Doc Mock has a celebrity guest join him, Miss Diagnosis, his lovely asissntant, and Lickey, the control booth monster, to watch old movies on their live stream show. Be sure to check in tomorrow for their return from their break, and be sure to watch the previous ten episodes on their website.
That does it for part one of my Favorite Mad scientists turn in tomorrow for part two.
5. Dr. Insano. Whether it be utilizing the Giant Robot Neutro to destroy his enemy's house, or letting loose fire apes that are on fire to cause rampant chaos, or simply bringing SCIENCE into a shootout, Dr. Insano always has a way to ruin your day...with SCIENCE! What he lacks in elaborate costumes, he more than makes up for with persistance, even once coming close to destroying coming close to destroying all of Hypertime with the Anti-Comic equation, known only as Warrior #1. But that was an Elseworld story, so no one really cares about that.
#4 Doc Mock. Doc Mock has a masoleum, and he kept movies there so nobody could see 'em. But many years passed, and the time has finally come to bring the movies out to have a little fun. Cause these are the kind of movies that never go out of style, so why don't you sit back and enjoy yourself for a while. THe Doctor is in, and he's got something to say, " These crazy movies are going to blow you away." Doc Mock Host "Doc Mock's Movie masoleum, an internet show similar to Mystery Science Theater 3000 if crossed with Space Ghost, Coast to Coast. Every Friday night at 10 P.M. PST, 1 A.M. EST, Doc Mock has a celebrity guest join him, Miss Diagnosis, his lovely asissntant, and Lickey, the control booth monster, to watch old movies on their live stream show. Be sure to check in tomorrow for their return from their break, and be sure to watch the previous ten episodes on their website.
That does it for part one of my Favorite Mad scientists turn in tomorrow for part two.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
More Webcomics you're probably not reading
I feel that seven days is enough time to wait until my second entry in this project. Without further delay, here it comes, 5 more webcomics that I feel I need to inflict on the world
MSpaint Adventures:You are sitting in front of your computer, with your favorite search engine open. What do you do?
> Search for clever web comic that relies on its fans to suggest the next action that should be taken
The top result is for "Your web comic is bad, and you should feel bad" You feel cheated by the search engine and the idiot who suggested this action. What shall you do now
>Quite dicking around and just go to MSpaint Adventures
You are faced with the first page of a new adventure. Your task, name this child.
This is how the latest adventure starts. With four adventures in it's archives, with one complete, and one active, Homestuck. Very reliant on in jokes from previous adventures, and with an incredibly extensive archive, the major drawing factor of this comic is the user generated commands. Every adventure is presented like a classic point and click adventure in the vein of Monkey Island and day of the Tentacle. A unique experience you'll have trouble duplicating
is when the author uses your suggestion
Daisy Owl: Daisy Owl is one of the most serene web comics I've come across on the entire internet so far. It's stars Daisy and her brother Cooper as they are raised by their single adoptive Father. Did I mention he was an Owl? It's your standard slice of life sitcom, with the occasional awareness that their father is a talking owl who is best friends with a bear working in a honey factory run my a giant Queen Bee. If your tired of all the over the top, expletive laced comics you find every where else, give this soothing strip a chance.
Lil'formers: What started out as a bunch of single panel comics about Transformers most people wouldn't recognize has evolved in to a bunch of single panel comics about Transformers most people wouldn't recognize and with the occasianal multi-panel comic about more well known properties ranging from Megaman to Battle Star Galactica to more obscure references like the Centurions or Visionaries. With adorable art work and a nostalgia factor for thise young at heart, you'd be a fool to pass this up.
Hijinks Ensue: Another pop culture Centric one here. The Main players in this are A stright White guy with a beard, a straight Mexican guy with a beard, and a gay White guy with a beard. Joel, Eli, and Josh, in case you were wondering what their names were, cover pretty much anything that cathches their interest, which might be why I like it so much. I'll let the final panel from one of their early comics speak for their interests as a whole. 
Rooster Teeth: Did you know that the guys behind Red vs. Blue, the most Awesome thing to happen to Halo, also have a web comic? Well they do, and it's great. Imagine Penny Arcade, only set in an office with the added bonus of trying to pin each character with their RvB counterpart. Seriously though, if your a fan of either party you owe it to yourself to visit thier website and browse thier archive.
MSpaint Adventures:You are sitting in front of your computer, with your favorite search engine open. What do you do?
> Search for clever web comic that relies on its fans to suggest the next action that should be taken
The top result is for "Your web comic is bad, and you should feel bad" You feel cheated by the search engine and the idiot who suggested this action. What shall you do now
>Quite dicking around and just go to MSpaint Adventures
You are faced with the first page of a new adventure. Your task, name this child.
This is how the latest adventure starts. With four adventures in it's archives, with one complete, and one active, Homestuck. Very reliant on in jokes from previous adventures, and with an incredibly extensive archive, the major drawing factor of this comic is the user generated commands. Every adventure is presented like a classic point and click adventure in the vein of Monkey Island and day of the Tentacle. A unique experience you'll have trouble duplicating
is when the author uses your suggestion
Daisy Owl: Daisy Owl is one of the most serene web comics I've come across on the entire internet so far. It's stars Daisy and her brother Cooper as they are raised by their single adoptive Father. Did I mention he was an Owl? It's your standard slice of life sitcom, with the occasional awareness that their father is a talking owl who is best friends with a bear working in a honey factory run my a giant Queen Bee. If your tired of all the over the top, expletive laced comics you find every where else, give this soothing strip a chance.
Lil'formers: What started out as a bunch of single panel comics about Transformers most people wouldn't recognize has evolved in to a bunch of single panel comics about Transformers most people wouldn't recognize and with the occasianal multi-panel comic about more well known properties ranging from Megaman to Battle Star Galactica to more obscure references like the Centurions or Visionaries. With adorable art work and a nostalgia factor for thise young at heart, you'd be a fool to pass this up.
Hijinks Ensue: Another pop culture Centric one here. The Main players in this are A stright White guy with a beard, a straight Mexican guy with a beard, and a gay White guy with a beard. Joel, Eli, and Josh, in case you were wondering what their names were, cover pretty much anything that cathches their interest, which might be why I like it so much. I'll let the final panel from one of their early comics speak for their interests as a whole. 
Rooster Teeth: Did you know that the guys behind Red vs. Blue, the most Awesome thing to happen to Halo, also have a web comic? Well they do, and it's great. Imagine Penny Arcade, only set in an office with the added bonus of trying to pin each character with their RvB counterpart. Seriously though, if your a fan of either party you owe it to yourself to visit thier website and browse thier archive.
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